Buddha:
The hole of the donut is no more empty than the entire donut.

Plato:
All donuts share in ideal "donut-ness".

Aristotle:
A donut contains its donut-ness.

René Descartes:
A donut's hole proves the existence of the donut.

John Locke:
Donuts taste good to me.

David Hume:
Donuts exist because I imagine donuts.

Immanual Kant:
A "donut" = my total experience of donuts.

Mary Wollstonecraft:
Women deserve donuts, too.

Søren Kierkegaard:
I have faith that donuts are delicious.

Karl Marx:
Everybody deserves donuts.

Friedrich Nietzsche:
Stop at nothing to get your donut.

Simone de Beauvoir:
Patriarchy is responsible for the shape of the donut.

Eric Sin:
Donuts are meant to be fucked.


QED, motherfuckers.

Yummmmm!